Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

- Ambrose Redmoon


The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.

-Buddha



Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I WILL NOT be shaken...

The air is thick in our house today. Tears fall through fits of laughter. I can't speak for anyone else, but I almost feel manic. My moods shift with the clicking of the clock. One minutes I feel peace, the next panic and the times in between sad, blessed, worried, exhausted, full of faith. We are blessed to have my mom, Xavier's Nana here with us. Nate's parents are driving down from Rhode Island. Wednesday morning, my dad will meet us at the hospital. We will be a strong, united front. We will pace the floor, cry, laugh, drink way too much coffee and make phone calls to our friends and family following every update.

Xavier was a champ at pre-op today. We have walked this path before..but each times feels like the first. By far the most challenging part for Nate and I is the talk with the surgical fellow...the risk facing Xavier. There is no beating around the bush. They are blunt and tell you every horrible thing that can go wrong. It's their job and quit frankly it sucks!!! But today, while I was doing my best to listen without passing out, it hit me. God was giving us a specific run down of what to pray for. So here it is:

We come to The Lord our God, begging for healing and mercy for Xavier. We specifically ask that 1. The Lord will be the surgeon tomorrow. Dr. Gaynor is a skilled and talented surgeon, but he is merely a vessel for the Lords work. We ask the great healer to have his hands on Xavier's heart and engulf the OR with the Holy Spirit. May the whole team feel the presence of God.
2. We are praying for an easy hand off from us to the team. That Xavier experience no fear or anxiety. That he only feel peace.
3. Getting through the scar tissue is by far the hardest and most dangerous part of surgery. He has a huge risk of bleeding. In order to cut other risks, we need a smooth entry, with minimal bleeding. We know that The Lord can grant us this miracle.
4. Xavier will be put on bypass and his heart will be stopped for surgery. We pray that his time on bypass is short and his heart has no problem coming off bypass and beating normally on its own.
5. The goal is to repair the valve successfully. It is possible that if they will have to replace the valve which is not something we want. Success with the actual repair is so important.
6. We ask The Lord that Xavier's heart function return to its normal state, or even ( dare I dream) better then before.
7. Infection is always a risk. Please pray for an infection free hospital stay.
8. We ask that Xavier have a smooth, pain free recovery and that he is feeling like himself in no time.

The next 24 will just be the start of a roller coaster ride, I keep trying to focus on just bringing Xavier home. Prayers, well wishes, positive thoughts, good vibes...all are appreciated. Many of you have been asking where gifts and cards can be sent. We will not know till we get a room number. I will post a link as soon as we get an assignment. I will do my best to keep updating Facebook and the blog.

We are to arrive at CHOP at 5:30 am.  MRI will begin at 7:00 am.  Surgery is schedule to begin at 8:00 and should take about 4 hours.

Below are some pictures from today.  Please stand firm with us...we will not be shaken!

"Truly He is rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I WILL NOT be shaken." ~Psalms 62:6








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