Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

- Ambrose Redmoon


The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.

-Buddha



Saturday, March 1, 2014

Dear Xavier


Dear Xavier,


My strong warrior...do you know how amazing you are?  How strong and how special?  You've had such a huge impact on our lives..you made me better!!!!

I can't believe I waited so long to do this for you. Your life has been such a journey in the 2 1/2 years we have had you.  Your so strong!  From the moment you were born you kicked serious butt!  We were scared when we found out about your heart, but we prayed and found faith that together we would not just get through this journey but that we would laugh, play, run, jump and sing our way through it.

I am sure by now you have noticed that scar on your chest.  The ones on your side.  I bet you can feel your pacemaker and your have figured out that we go to the doctor and hospital A LOT.  Well dear boy you were made with a special heart.  You were made by God, perfectly imperfect.  You are exactly the way you were meant to be.  Mommy and Daddy have found  you the worlds best cardiac team to take care of you and together we will concur this and rejoice in the miracle that is your life.

But enough about your heart....let's talk about you.  Your a fantastic little guy...Your funny, you have the best laugh and EVERYONE talks about how amazing your smile is.  Lately you love trains, cars, the IPAD and hanging out with me.  I hope it's like that forever. We make a great team.  You worked very hard to learn to walk and baby you should see you now!!!  Your running!  Your still working on learning to talk but it's coming.  Your so smart.  You know all your colors and letters...you follow directions well (most of the time)  and you have 65 signs!!!  Some things are a struggle for you, but you never give up...you follow your own path and do things in your own time and I totally dig that about you.  You learn something new everyday..it's pretty cool to watch.  What a blessing that I get to be a part of who you are.

Now that your a big brother your learning about patience and waiting your turn.  I know it's hard but you do your best and that's really all we can ask.  You watch over Elliott and your such a good helper with her.  I know you will grow to be best friends.  The thought of that makes me happy.

Life isn't easy or fair Xavier!  Your life will be painful at times, scary at times and you may ask why me...but I promise you that your life will always be blessed and full.  Mommy has created a network of support for you.  You will always have someone in our life who will understand.  You are and will continue to change people, to have an impact.  So very many adore you!!

Together as a family we will tackle the obstacles in life.  Surgeries, procedures, illness, heart break (the kind you will feel when some girl can't see how amazing you are), bullies, that horrible algebra class and  the time you didn't win.  We will celebrate all the amazing times to come.  First days, that A+ you worked so hard for, discharges from CHOP, graduations, first love, dancing at your wedding.....

Your future is so bright!!!!!!  I'm excited for this ride...I'm blessed to be your mommy, your best friend and your biggest fan!!!  ROCK ON X-MAN!!!


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