Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

- Ambrose Redmoon

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.


Saturday, November 12, 2011

My poor baby..

I kept watching the clock.  How long has it been.  Why didn't she call.  I was waiting to here Nate's phone ring..but when it did all would go black and I could not hear anything at all.  It was like being trapped in a black hole.  My brain just stopped working. Then Nate would say.."Things are going well" or "He is responding well".  I was happy to hear that the BT shunt was a good fit for X.  I was happy to hear that he was tolerating bypass.  I was happy to hear that they were almost finished.  I am pretty sure that I jumped up and down when she called and said that they closed up his chest (some kids have swelling so they leave the chest open for a day or two).  Then the final call came that they were done, he rocked it and he was on his way back up to us.  I fell to my knees in thanks.  All of us cried.  We had taken over the Ronald McDonald family room.  We were hugging and crying and praying out loud.  What a blessing and what a strong little boy we have!!  Dr. Gaynor came to the RMR to talk to us.  He said it could not have gone any better.  There were no surprises and he behaved just like he had anticipated he would.  The right side of his heart was perfect and very strong.  He was really happy with his heart function.  Of course he did remind us that recovery can be hard and that there are ALWAYS steps back.  I could handle the baby had made it though open heart surgery at 4 days old.  We were actually going to come out the other end of this thing.

So many people were praying for him.  My school did a moment of silence at the start of the day.  Some of the teachers fasted until he came out of surgery.   My hometown church sat vigilant prayers for hours.  My church in NJ spent the day on bended knee.  Our families sat by the phone waiting.  Nate's Auntie Cathy fell asleep saying the rosary, and woke up and finished it.  Friends were lighting candles.  A friend of my parents host a christian radio program and asked for prayer of his listeners.  We had many religions represented.  Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and those that are not sure what they believe, but prayed for him regardless.  People who have known me my whole life, people who had just met me, people who I have never met took time from there day to pray for Xavier.  I believe with all that I am that God heard every one of those prayers.  He heard me cry out for mercy.  He was in that OR that day.  It was the hands of God, working through the doctors and nurses that day.  They were blessed with the ability to do God's work.  Please don't think that it was all sunshine and rainbows from this moment on.  It got hard and it got scary, but we were on our way to getting our X-man back.  In that moment it was enough for me!

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